chavvah: (Default)
Yesterday, at [livejournal.com profile] slammerkinbabe's behest, I cleverly devised a celery magnet. Obviously, such a complex instrument will take years and billions of dollars to build, but I am confident that my experiment will be a success. I believe this will hail the dawn of a new age in nutritional magnetism, or NuMag, as we in the scientific community have dubbed it.

I would now like to announce that I also intend to build a chocolate magnet.

Rest assured, I did not make the decision to experiement in the contraversial field of cocoamagnetics lightly; it came about after many years of forethought, decades of the study of chocolate and all its inherent properties, and not simply because I really, really, really want some chocolate right now.

Preliminary studies have shown that chocolate is inherently attracted to my ass, where it appears in the form of cellulite.

If I could somehow harness the awesome power of my ass, I believe I could be a contender for the Nobel Prize. (I have been saying this for years, but it is doubtful that anyone will believe me without scientific evidence.)

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chavvah

January 2010

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