Owowowowow.

Dear chavvah,

We're totally gonna get you. And don't think that vacuum cleaner is going to work on us, either.

Yours truly,
Little tiny pieces of glass

~

Dear carpet,

Why are you hiding the little tiny pieces of glass? They're just using you, you know. They don't care about your feelings the way I do. Why don't you let me take care of them? Then you and I could be happy together, the way we used to.

With much affection,
chavvah

~

Dear chavvah,

We heard what you said about us, biatch.

Bring it.

Little tiny pissed-off pieces of glass

~

Dear chavvah,

OMGPAIN. OWOWOWOWFUCK. PAINPAINHELP.

Cordially,
Your left foot

~

Dear my left foot,

This does, in fact, suck. What shall we do?

Lots of love,
chavvah

P.S. You are my favourite foot.

~

Dear chavvah,

OMFGTEHPAIN!!!!eleventy-one!!

Best wishes,
Your left foot

P.S. I know.

~

Dear chavvah,

Here's a thought. Maybe take the nasty old piece of glass out of your foot?

Sincerely,
Your brain

~

Dear my brain,

Hmm. Hadn't thought of that. (I guess that's what I have you for.) I will consider it.

With thanks,
chavvah

~

Dear chavvah,

You have considered it, and you find it to be an excellent idea.

Kisses,
OMG Teh Brain

~

Dear chavvah,

Don't mean to be a bother, but THISISLIEKTHEWORSTPAINEVEROMG!!!

Just sayin'.

Yours,
Your left foot

~

Dear my left foot,

Not so much into pulling this shit out. We'll have to get Jamie in on this.

Apologies,
chavvah

P.S. Don't tell righty what I said about you being my favourite.
~

Dear chavvah,

That's a little better, but I'm still in OMGPAIN down here. Any thoughts?

Hopefully,
Your left foot

P.S. I won't, I promise.

~

Dear my left foot,

Sorry. Think I'm going to bed now.

Tiredly,
chavvah

~

Dear chavvah,

I heard what you said about me, biatch.

Bring it.

Your right foot

(no subject)

P.S. Jann Arden + Sarah McLachlan + "I Would Die For You" = BEST THING EVER.

(no subject)

As many of you know, I am a huge fan of Smoothiepack. Like, such a fan that I would marry Smoothiepack and have its babies, were that at all possible (and perhaps not as likely to cause a yeast infection). Last night I put one in the freezer so it would be extra cold, but in all the ensuing glass-in-foot hijinks, I completely forgot to take it out. This morning, it was rock hard, so I put it in the fridge until just now.

When I went to drink it, it was not entirely unfrozen, but I found that I had accidentally invented... Slushiepack. It's like a fresh fruit Slurpee. Heaven in a juice box, man. This was seriously worth all the intense foot pain. OMGSLUSHIEPACK.

I totally heart Smoothiepack times a million more. (Grammar? What's that? All your base are belong to us!)