Still no iPod!

Here's the situation:

I have been compulsively logging on to FedEx's tracking website all weekend, and I have discovered that the virtual paper trail stops at 3:56 a.m. on December 3rd in Memphis, Tennessee. Not only that, but there are some weird-ass goings on. Observe:

December 1
10:19 PM Package data transmitted to FedEx
11:33 PM Picked up SHANGHAI CN Package received after FedEx cutoff

Huh? Okay, whatever.

11:38 PM Left origin SHANGHAI CN

December 2
3:41 AM Departed FedEx location MEMPHIS, TN

Whoa! It's in Memphis four hours after leaving China?! That was fast. Rock on, FedEx! Oh, but wait, there's more:

12:25 PM Arrived at FedEx location ANCHORAGE, AK

Okay, are you fucking kidding me? My iPod is in Alaska now? FedEx somehow skipped over my entire country, probably twice, without bringing me my package?!

3:22 PM Departed FedEx location ANCHORAGE, AK

Mind you, I don't want to assume anything. One thing I learned from reading "Three-Minute Mysteries" as a kid is that there is more than one city called Anchorage in the United States. Maybe we're talking about Anchorage, Arkansas or something.

Another thing I learned from "Three-Minute Mysteries" is that a man always gives the address before getting in a cab, whereas a woman will wait until she is comfortably seated.*

December 3
12:55 AM Arrived at FedEx location MEMPHIS, TN

Okay, I'm sorry, what? We're back in Memphis again?! I give up.

3:56 AM Departed FedEx location MEMPHIS, TN

And that's the last entry.

I realize(/hope) that someone in Memphis simply entered their information into the wrong day, or whatever. But the fact remains that my iPod has probably had to cross Canada to get from one state to another, before making its way to God only knows where before it comes here.

Estimated date of arrival is December 7th.

I can't wait to see how this turns out.



*I felt totally ripped off when this turned out to be the solution to one of the mysteries. Then again, the books were written in the fifties.

(no subject)

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Thursday I donated bone marrow to kataclysmic in a life-saving procedure (300 points). Last week I bought porn for damned_colonial (10 points). Last Sunday I punched charliesmum in the arm (-10 points). Last Saturday I helped zoo_monkey across the street (6 points). In June I pulled slammerkinbabe's hair (-5 points). Overall, I've been nice (301 points). For Christmas I deserve an Easy-Bake Oven! Sincerely, chavvah

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(no subject)

As rackletang has already pointed out today, Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash = HAWT.