OMFGADMIN!!

[chavvah]

or, Chavvah's First Day in the Ninth Circle of Hell


me: *arrives at office* OMGNEWJOB. I am now an administrative assistant. I am going to be a paragon of awesomeness. First, I must print the 8 pages of instructions from my predecessor.
printer: Fuck you.
me: I beg your pardon?
printer: Fuck. You.
me: This does not bode well. Perhaps I will make some copies.
copier: OMGPAPERJAM!
me: Where? WHERE?!
copier: *a la Barry White* Section three, baby.
me: *stuffs hand in copier*
copier: Aw, yeeah, that's nice. Right there.
me: *closes copier*
copier: Tease.
me: WTFCOPIES?
copier: OMGPAPERJAM is now in section four.
me: Oh, no you didn't! *snaps fingers*
copier: Come on, you know you want to.
my boss: Your first day, and already you broke the copier?
me: More of a difference of opinion. I think I am going to try and fax some stuff.
fax machine: Gasp! Choke!
me: WTFBBQFAX?
fax: Need... toner...
me: Aw, crap. Who orders the toner around here?
my boss: Dude. You do.
Firemen: OMGFIRE!
me: WTFFIRE?!
Firemen: Ahem. That's what we'd like to know. Your alarm just went off.
me: You have got to be kidding me.
volunteer: Excuse me, but the printer just told me to go fuck myself.

...and that was my morning.

For those of you who weren't aware, I have a new job... sort of. I am filling in for the admin assistant here at the historic site from now until March 2006. It's going to be a long winter, folks.

Comments

[rackletang.livejournal.com]

Ah, gotta love a new office with new machines that hate you...

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

I've met your copier, I think. They are the tools of Satan you know.

[pyroclasticgrub.livejournal.com]

Yep...you need to work in our office. I think the fax machine/printer/copier/de-stapler/re-stapler/rocket-launcher tried to seduce me once. It's hot. It's the touch screen, I swear!

And our storage room is all labelled and has an inventory!