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Jun. 11th, 2005 02:51 pmYesterday I took a packet of Chef Woo Thai-style instant noodles (a bargain at $1.99 a bowl!) to work for lunch. I enjoyed the noodles thoroughly, and all seemed to be well. At about 3:30 p.m., I received the following urgent communiqué from my stomach:
Dear chavvah,
Please be advised that we are now returning the majority of the Chef Woo Thai-style instant noodles you have sent us, as we find them to be highly unsatisfactory. Also included is your half-digested breakfast granola bar and orange juice.
Regards,
Your stomach.
Being the resourceful person that I am, I immediately deposited these unexpected returns in a nearby garbage can--no mean feat, as such trash disposal receptacles can be nearly impossible to find on a fully operational national historic site such as ours. (I nominate myself for employee of the week, simply for not barfing on any historic artifacts.)
Later that afternoon, as I was severely dehydrated and had a pounding headache, I tried to sneak some Tylenol into the stomach with about half a bottle of green Gatorade before my co-workers took me home. The response:
Dear chavvah,
Thank you for your consideration; however, we regret to inform you that we cannot accept any medications at this time. Pursuant to this matter, here are the Tylenol, the remainder of the Chef Woo Thai-style instant noodles, as well as your green Gatorade.
Regards,
Your stomach.
P.S. We did not appreciate the car ride.
I am currently still in negotiations with the stomach, having placated it with several popsicles and half a piece of dry toast. I will be sure to keep everyone updated on the results, as I'm sure you're all eagerly anticipating the outcome of this tense standoff. In the meantime, your warm thoughts and fond wishes would be appreciate in this time of turmoil.
Dear chavvah,
Please be advised that we are now returning the majority of the Chef Woo Thai-style instant noodles you have sent us, as we find them to be highly unsatisfactory. Also included is your half-digested breakfast granola bar and orange juice.
Regards,
Your stomach.
Being the resourceful person that I am, I immediately deposited these unexpected returns in a nearby garbage can--no mean feat, as such trash disposal receptacles can be nearly impossible to find on a fully operational national historic site such as ours. (I nominate myself for employee of the week, simply for not barfing on any historic artifacts.)
Later that afternoon, as I was severely dehydrated and had a pounding headache, I tried to sneak some Tylenol into the stomach with about half a bottle of green Gatorade before my co-workers took me home. The response:
Dear chavvah,
Thank you for your consideration; however, we regret to inform you that we cannot accept any medications at this time. Pursuant to this matter, here are the Tylenol, the remainder of the Chef Woo Thai-style instant noodles, as well as your green Gatorade.
Regards,
Your stomach.
P.S. We did not appreciate the car ride.
I am currently still in negotiations with the stomach, having placated it with several popsicles and half a piece of dry toast. I will be sure to keep everyone updated on the results, as I'm sure you're all eagerly anticipating the outcome of this tense standoff. In the meantime, your warm thoughts and fond wishes would be appreciate in this time of turmoil.
